Life’s A Bluuurrrrrr!!!!!

Blur (album)

Image via Wikipedia

27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all[c]; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. 30 I and the Father are one.”  John: 10: 27-  29

Jane and Sally meet for coffee to catch-up on each other’s lives. Jane is single, has a cat and a job at a book publishing company. Sally has been married for 20 years and is a stay at home mom with 3 kiddos, one of which she homescools, the other’s are in charter school.

J: Oh, it’s so good to see you! How are you?

S: Just fine!  Life is exciting! What about you!

J: Couldn’t be better!

They buy their coffee and grab two comfy chairs in the corners.  As they sat, both expelled a huge sigh!

S:You know I didn’t think today would ever get here.  This week has been a blur!  School for Tim and Amanda at the school has begun to get busier!  They have quite a bit of homework every night.  They are both in soccer.  Thankfully, they practice at the same time, but games!  Games are often at two different sides of the city and NEVER so I can go see both of them!  Jerry and I have to split forces and coordinate from week to week who is going to see what game!  It’s crazy!

J:Wow!  That sounds like a lot of running!

S:  Oh, yeah!  That doesn’t include the daily trip back and forth to school, the other extra activites they are supposed to be doing!

J:  Like what!?

S:  Let’s see each of them need to sell a box of candy bars for their part of financially supporting the soccer team.  When are we going to find the time to take them out to do that?  I’m thinking Jerry and I are going to buy both boxes and I will gain ten pounds in the aftermath!

J: Oh! You are so funny!

S:  So, Miss Single and Free, what are you up to?

J:  I wish I had your life!  I’ve been so tired lately.  You know how I was a bit bored a first with this job?  Well, I spoke WAY too soon!  They found out what I could REALLY do and now I seem to be the go-to-girl for all the problems.  Last week, I put in 55 hours trying to meet a deadline!  I was toast by the end of the week.  But then I had promised to help the church with the Coat Drive on Saturday morning!  Oh, I wished I hadn’t committed to that.  But it turned out to be a fun day.  Some other ladies and I went to a friend’s house at noon to help her finish packing for her move.  We had a pizza supper, but then the concert I promise to go to with my brother was at 8pm!  I rushed home showered and changed, met him and we drove to Denver, getting there just before the concert started!  Good thing we had assigned seating!  Sunday afternoon I after church, it was my turn to take Great Aunt Irma out to lunch.  She is so funny !  She can be very chatty but I enjoyed every minute!  Then it was a rush to get my laundry done and as well as a few household things done before Monday am!

S:  Well, you are right! You had a full week too! Say, how is your bible study going?

J:  Bible study?  Well, if I get there, I sit in the back and am very quiet when we get in our small groups.  When on earth do I have time to do my homework!  Sometimes I don’t even know why I go!  Sometimes I don’t even remember God is around.  I guess my life is a blur too!

S:  I know what you mean.  Homeschooling Josh, has taken up all my free time that I did have when they were all in school!  I do the same thing at my bible study.  I just never seem to find the time to sit down with some peace and quiet and do my homework.  I thought God told me to do this study, so why hasn’t he helped me find the time to keep up!  I am so discouraged with all of this.

J: I know what you mean!  Some days, even though I work in a Christian environment, I don’t even remember God until my head hit’s the pillow!  Thunk… God…Hey it’s me Jane!   Then I am asleep!

Does any of this sound familiar?  I need to make a point to listen for his voice to tell me when to sit with him and just be quiet…then work on my bible study.  My intimacy with God depends on my time with God.  He’s there waiting and he is faithful to call me but I ask myself… Do I listen then come when he calls?

Leave a comment

Filed under Faithfulness, Not enough time, Process of Life, Relationship with God, Women

Important Notice to the Blogging Community

Warning! Do not put eggs on to boil and then go to your computer to write! The eggs WILL BURN! …you WILL forget they even existed! I’m just saying…

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Weakness is strong in Him

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ‘s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  for when I am weak, then I am strong.”  2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I woke up with this last part rolling around in my head.  I thought it said, “In my weakness, is strong.”  Yes, Paul is saying something like that in about the thorn in his flesh, but not like I thought.  When I am weak He carries me and all that I am feeling emotionally and physically…yet… I see that the real scripture is saying, despite my weakness, I am really strong because Christ’s power rests in me.

I feel weak today.  I feel like those sweet daisies in the picture and if someone walking along, looking ahead and not down, would walk on me, I would be crushed.  I wouldn’t be strong enough to stand the hit.

Then, in thinking about it, I realize that I want to FEEL strong, so I can go forward in that power.  those daisies are strong and beautiful and lovely in thier own right.  Maybe not strong enough to withstand a hiking foot, but strong enough as God made them.  Paul is saying that the weakness is still there and he can move forward to be, or do, or care, or touch…with Christ’s power despite his weakness.

So, today, in my weakness, emotionally and physically, I am strong…so dispite that I can move forward to be, to do, to care or touch others because of Christ in me.  Today, where I’m at, I’m not so sure what that looks like, but by faith, will move confindently forward in His name.  I will be strong  in his power as God made me.

Thank you Father for your faithfulness to me.

1 Comment

Filed under Christ, Confidence, Faithfulness, God, Heart Challenges, Life Journey, Process of Life, Weakness

Sharing someone’s heart

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not to your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path. Proverbs 3:5-6

This verse happens to be the verse is the memory scripture for this month’s section of Healing Journey by Cindy Sherwood, a bible study journey of healing. I had memorized it a long time ago, but working with it again reminds me of my ongoing journey with the Lord and my heart.  It fits perfectly with what I want to share with you today.

I woke up this  morning wanting write something that would stir my heart as well as yours.  I put supper in the crock pot, made a loaf of banana bread, and copied some scripture on to a large sticky note so I could post it on my bathroom mirror.  Then…coming to my computer I still had nothing.  Opened my email and sorted through a couple of things.  A midst the regular stuff…advertisments, bible study updates…I opended and found a couple of jewels!  I want to share them with you….

First, there is a sweet blogger, sounds like she is on the , homeschools and shares with powerful simplicity her observations of life.  Short, sweet, somewhat poetic and very heart stirring….http://gibsongirl247.wordpress.com/  (It Just Dawned On Me) In her email today she shares about the rain….and about another blogger, Glizen Girls aka Sara, she had followed went home to be with Jesus this weekend.  Dawn reposted a blog of Sara’s and like all good bloggers I “followed the yellow brick road.”  It’s what we do!  Or so I am beginning to discover!

Sara’s original post was not only inspiring, moving, but it struck a chord in my own heart and walk with God.  She talks in eloquent, but simple ways about her surrender to God as she battled a disease that took her physical life.  She is now dancing with the angels, greeting all who has gone before her.  I  hope someday when I get there, to meet her and know more about her walking with Jesus life here on earth.  Please take the time to follow this link.  I hope you will be as blessed as I have been…. http://gitzengirl.blogspot.com/2009/10/crazy-love-your-best-life-later.html

Leave a comment

Filed under Christ, Death, Faithfulness, God, Heart, Honoring Others, Jesus, Poetry, Trust

Plumb line

Line art drawing of plumb.
Image via Wikipedia

(This is a long one, so get your coffee mug or tea cup filled before you
start! Thanks for taking the time!)

From birth to death we need borders, boundaries, tracks to follow, or maybe a plumb line.  I like the idea of a plumb line because the visual of it is verticalness. 

 

Plumb line

line with weight attached: a line to which a weight is attached to find the depth of water or to verify a true vertical alignment   Encarta® World English Dictionary 

 

I am not a carpenter but  my husband has used a tool that has a chalked string and a weight.  He puts the tool against a wall, lets the weight dangle, then snaps the string against the wall to make a mark.  The mark shows him what is vertically straight. 

 

I hope I haven’t lost you yet… True vertical alignment for me is from myself to God… How would I check that vertical alignment? 

 

My plumb line for my life has been the Word of God.  When in doubt check the Word!  Better yet, if I am daily staying in the Bible, then it automatically checks my heart’s direction. 

 

Throughout our parenting lives we have had a scripture, which translated into saying…

            You are not ordinary,

            You are extraordinary.

            Especially chosen by God,

            To do a mighty work for Him.

 

I Peter 2:9-10  MSG

But you are the ones chosen by God

chosen for the high calling of priestly work,

chosen to be a holy people,

God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him,

to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you

from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.

 

I believe every person, every family is chosen, but they must choose to be chosen. (That’s another day, another blog.)  There wasn’t anything special about us, but we decided to take the challenge of being a chosen family.

 

Growing up, I did not have a solid, living breathing, Christian background but received Christ in my teens.  I did not know it until after we were married in 1975, but my husband knew how to be a Christian, but did not have a relationship with Christ until a couple of years after our marriage.

 

From those broken places, we started a family, not knowing how to live for Christ, together, in the day to day.  How was I going to I make Christ-like adult decisions if I had no plumb line to follow?  The only place I knew was to find knowledge and peace in the Word of God.

 

Fast forward to October 1979 and our first child was born.  This sweet little baby girl was totally depending on us for everything she needed.  Her practical, emotional, and spiritual growth would come from our hearts and lives into hers. It was overwhelming, but as a mom I could only take one day at a time.  Something special happened sometime from that moment, to the day we had our last child of five in 1991.  God’s faithfulness showed up one day in a scripture and a simple translation he gave to me for our family, 1 Peter 2:9-10.  It has been the plumb line for all our family decisions.  We wanted to consciously make choices in every area of our lives, which would reflect Christ and how he wanted our family to grow.

 

As, I said before, we made plenty of mistakes and at times were criticized by those around us for the decisions we made.  The plumb line provided our guide when we didn’t know and our comfort when we weren’t sure.

 

Sounds great on paper! Right!?  But living it out has been a challenge.  We haven’t made all the right decisions.  We have made plenty of mistakes and when we did we hurt others in the process of cleaning up our mess, asked for forgiveness, and chose to move on hopefully a bit wiser.

 

Even though we hadn’t intended to make a mistake or inflict hurt, we often found we had wandered away from out plumb line verse, which lead to our making a decision that didn’t go well.  Again, the worst part of that was we hurt others in the process. 

 

Most recently, made a huge mistake and got myself in to a mess.  We were invited to the wedding of a special family.  They mean a lot to me and I really wanted to go. Ie looked at the calendar and saw that there was another something around time that was very important, but we thought juggling both wouldn’t be a problem.  After all the wedding was a sweet, important moment for our friend and we wanted to be there to share the day and besides the other thing was somewhat flexible so why can’t they work together? 

 

The time arrived and both events crashed into one another.  The other commitment became bigger than we thought and the night before the wedding came and we knew we didn’t have the physical or emotional strength to attend.  How did this happen!?

 

It happened because I forgot to check in with the plumb line of our lives.  You see, the other commitment was actually two commitments to our two new grandbabies.  Each of them were born within 14 days before the wedding.  We knew the due dates and thought that unless one of the girls were in labor, surely it wouldn’t be a problem to work around the little ones and share this special day with my friend. 

 

I honestly didn’t realize what having two grandbabies within 14 days would mean.  It was a full time job emotionally, physically and spiritual…and with joy, it continues to fill our lives.

 

You see, I knew that raising children to know God would take every ounce of me.  My husband and I had made that commitment to raise our children with our plumb line scripture and translation, but I never considered it would be a similar commitment for our being grandparents. 

 

And now, we still are making mistakes because of that lack of knowledge.  In just the 3 weeks since the first baby was born, I have broken a commitment or two and hurt the heart of someone so very dear to me.  What happened!?  I didn’t take time to listen to the Holy Spirit and hear his coaching.  I was going to be a grandma! Yeah!  But, I thought I could fold grandma-hood right into my regular life.  How hard could it be to love on a couple of babies who already had parents to take care of them?  Gee Whiz!  Hugs, kisses, whispered prayers and off I would go! 

 

No, it hasn’t been that way.  Our, my, commitment to our children’s lives way back then, has come forward to this day and time.  They still need support, encouragement, and my ability to show up and be there for them.  Only now, there are other people involved, new daughters to get to know and serve, and now these, oh my goodness, precious little ones have arrived into our lives! 

 

I had no idea what that would mean!  Shopping, cleaning, cooking and listening…yep and holding those little ones and “slurping up all that sugar!” as my dear friend would say.  It’s taken a toll emotionally.  I had no idea that these little ones would be the beginning of a gift from God for all the hard work, hours of prayer, and the correcting of many mistakes we had made as parents. 

 

We haven’t seen a whole lot of grandparenting in our lives to model our lives after.  So, now the plumb line is there again to help us navigate our grandparenting.  We want to be as committed to these little ones and all the ones to come, as fervently as we were with our children.  We need to learn be ready to be involved and know when to step back.  We need to know how to pray for these new families.  We need to understand God’s heart and not make decisions by our own heart.  We need to know it’s not just a side job for us.  This Opa and Oma stuff is on the front burner!

 

I am sure as the days go by, a life rhythm will take hold and all of this won’t be as huge as it has been lately.  The learning curve has just been bigger than we expected.  I am hoping I won’t hurt anyone else along the way, but that is not a guarantee. 

 

What I do hope for is leaving a family legacy that is based on Christ and Christ alone (as the song says.)  My hope is that my hubby and I will have fought the good fight and turned the corner of the legacy passed down to us.  My hope is that the new godly legacy will have been past up to the next generation and then ones to follow.  Their road won’t be easy either, but my hope is that they will have a better foundation to start from. 

 

Making mistakes and the relationship fallout from them will always break my heart. All I know to do is go back to my plumb line, ask forgiveness of those I’ve hurt, forgive myself and greet the new day with the new mercies God has provide for me.

 

My heart had to share even if no one would read all of this.  Sharing helps me process life.  If you have hung in there to get to this place with me, thank you. 

 

May blessings and grace abound in your life and the lives of your families.  

2 Comments

Filed under Change, Daughters-with-love, Faithfulness, Family, Family Relationships, Friendship, Gifts, God, Heart, Heart Challenges, Honoring Others, Life Journey, Love, Marriage, Process of Life

One here…one to go….

setup of NEMO Morpho inflatable airbeam tent i...

Image via Wikipedia

Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes.  Isaiah 54:1-10

Ansel Mikkel Helzer was born early Friday am, son to Sean & Michelle Helzer…AND grandson to Opa and Oma Helzer.    What an experience that last few days have been.  Lots of logistics especially for mommy and daddy, but everything will fall into place as the days go by.

Miss Bailey Helzer, daughter of Brad and Rachel Helzer,  is expected to arrive within the next week or two.  We are on pins and needles waiting for the big day!

My biggest surprise has been the depth of love and purpose that has dropped into my heart for these little ones arriving in our family.  I expected the excitement of buying clothes, helping to get the rooms ready, and watching our sweet daughters-with-love grow in their bellies.  What I didn’t expect something that has been happening all along but I was unaware of.  There has been a growing love for each of these babies, individually.  I have prayed and dreamed about what they would be like…not just their looks, but who they will become as people.  Yes, the fullness of that is a very long way away, but my heart is expectant to see what God does in their lives and the lives of their parents.

I would suppose each grandparent has a different experience when meeting their grandchildren for the first time.  My meeting Ansel, holding , and kissing him introduced me to an unexpected emotional/spiritual new journey.  It’s as if the bottom fell out of what I have known the depth of the love I have for my family…and now there is now a deeper place of exploring this new-found relationship of love.

If I had expected this deeper place I would have thought it would be all about the new babies, but no it’s deeper that even that!  This new place is all about the years and years of prayer, hopes, dreams, and desires for the family as a whole.  The babies are the beginning of that new place.  My heart is profoundly overwhelmed with God’s love for me, for all of us.  I can see places to explore my relationship with him, which I didn’t even know existed.  My heart has grown larger as the Lord has tucked them into my heart, but I know there is much more room for more spouses and more grandbabies. When God expands our tents there is no end to what he can do if we yield to what he wants.

What is God wanting to expand in your life?  What does he want to bless you with, but you know there is a journey ahead you are not sure you want to take?  Is there something in your heart that has gentle burned in you and has waited for you to yield it to the Father to breathe life into it? Enlarging our tents is a messie business and takes time, but each time I have followed…(sometimes whining) it has been worth all the mess of the work.

I am under NO delusion this new journey will be easy. It already isn’t.  But anything worthy, of our King and Lord’s involvement in our lives is worth whatever we is required of us.  I will need all of him to walk out this journey and whatever else he has for me in these latter years of my life, but I am willing to put my hand in his and see where he leads.

There is more to the scripture I began with, much of which touches me in my private inner places with the Lord and I am sure many of you have held these scriptures in your hearts too…. but I am impressed to conclude by sharing more of it….

Isaiah 54:1-10   The Future Glory of Zion

1 “Sing, barren woman,
   you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
   you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
   than of her who has a husband,”
            says the LORD.
2 “Enlarge the place of your tent,
   stretch your tent curtains wide,
   do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
   strengthen your stakes.
3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
   your descendants will dispossess nations
   and settle in their desolate cities.

4 “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
   Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
5 For your Maker is your husband—
   the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
   he is called the God of all the earth.
6 The LORD will call you back
   as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
   only to be rejected,” says your God.
7 “For a brief moment I abandoned you,
   but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
8 In a surge of anger
   I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
   I will have compassion on you,”
   says the LORD your Redeemer.

Biblegateway.com

2 Comments

Filed under Change, Confidence, Daughters-with-love, Dreams, Faithfulness, Family, Family Relationships, God, Heart, Heart Challenges, Prayer, Process of Life, Trust

Waiting for a baby to be born…Yikes!

waiting for baby

Listen to my instruction and be wise;
do not disregard it.
Blessed are those who listen to me,
watching daily at my doors,
waiting at my doorway.
For those who find me find life
and receive favor from the LORD.   Proverbs 8:33-35

 

I could guess there have been a bazillion words and thoughts written about waiting on God.  Waiting for him to do something, stop something, and intervene in a way we have “suggested” to him in prayer.  And yet I still wait…

 

A doer not a waiter…

I know there are people who love to wait or really don’t stress about waiting. But really people!  Are you truly patient in that Wal-Mart line that doesn’t seem to move?  When you are stopped in traffic and can’t see what is ahead and creating the immobility…are you really OK with that!?  How about the child you know takes forever to get ready to go someplace, you plan ahead, help him or her in every way possible and you still leave late!  What about the spouse who is verbally herding everyone towards the car to go to church, then “needs” to go back into the house for the thing they forgot to grab!  Come on!  Is that difficult to spell hurry or plan ahead!?

 

 Sometimes I can make an instant decision and doing is a turns out to be a blessing.  Sometimes it’s a disaster.  When I don’t check in with God is usually when things fall apart on me or blow up in my face!  What a mess it can be! 

Waiting with/for God….

The key to the waiting is checking in with God and making sure I am on the same page he is on.  Honestly, I really don’t like doing that, because it usually means there is a lesson to learn about the waiting and the trusting of his heart and not what I want.  

 Waiting for the grandson to be born…Torture!

So, we are waiting for our first grandbaby to be born…waiting…yikes!  I have never known the word until the last few weeks and now the last few hours.  My heart is so split between wanting our Little Mister to hurry up and be born and trusting God for the best timing for him and his sweet mama.  I want the best for their health, but I want to see his face!  I want to see his daddy and mommy holding him, but I want to hold him too!

 The doctor has been great in giving them the time to labor the way they feel comfortable.  He has been helpful, but not intervening for his convenience. What a blessing for Little Mister and our sweet Michelle. 

 Other things we wait on God for…

I must let my hopes and dreams mature doing my part to be healthy and ready for God to birth them.  Pushing them with our interventions can unravel what God has planned for me. 

 We wait, we pray, we trust God that Little Mister will arrive when God has planned.  We wait, we pray, we trust that God is giving our Michelle all she needs to do the hard work of birthing her son.  We wait, we pray, we trust that God is giving our son the strength and wisdom he needs to be the support for his wife and new little son. 

 Thank you….

Thanks for waiting, praying, and trusting God with us.  I will let you know more when I have permission to share.  Love you all!!!! In the meantime, we are going to go get some flowers, maybe pick-up a couple of things they need from their house, and take an armload of hugs and encouragement, leaving in a short time…to wait, pray, and trust… :)

Leave a comment

Filed under Confidence, Doctors, Dreams, Family, Family Relationships, Good, Heart Challenges, Life Journey, Prayer, Trust